The Green-Dove Life-Space

How to kill and eat your neighbor's pet for Christmas

2011-12-27T02:06:00.001-05:00

My dad has been preparing a goose for Christmas every year for around 30 years, but every year he forgets the recipe. He did a little Googling yesterday to find recipe suggestions and found this little gem from a cooking thread:

Oh, the internet.

Here's the final dinner (I made the roasted vegetables!):

Fear of Sleep / Hypnophobia / Somniphobia

2011-12-22T07:16:00.001-05:00

I had several conversations with people yesterday about my issues with sleep. I don't generally feel tired at night; often, the later it is, the more awake I am. I also feel more anxious at night. And then, when my body is finally read to doze off, my brain starts fighting off this urge to sleep.

It's more complicated than just insomnia.

If I were granted three wishes, I would sacrifice one to never need sleep again (yes, sometimes I do want to sleep, but it's rare).

I thought I'd tackle the job of explaining hypnophobia, or somniphobia (the fear of sleep), to easy-sleepers through the voices of people who have also experienced it.

God of radio and nerd-cool Ira Glass tackles the issue on one of my favorite episodes of This American Life: "Fear of Sleep"

Beginning when he was six, Glass developed this fear of sleep and its "complete annihilation":

My uncle Lenny went off to Vietnam. And that opened up this chapter in my life where I was obsessed with death [....]

So I was six and I knew I was going to die and my mom and dad couldn't help me. Nobody could help me. I'll be dead forever. Galaxies would spin. Humans would travel to other worlds. And I would miss all of that. Nobody would remember me or anybody that I had ever known forever.

And I would lie awake at night, scared to fall asleep, because sleep seemed no different than death. You know. You were gone, not moving, not talking, not thinking, not aware. Not aware – what could be more frightening? What could be bigger?

[....] For those of us who fear sleep, there is a lot to fear. [....] this altered state where we're vulnerable and just gone.

In act five, "A Small Taste Of The Big Sleep," Glass talks to others who fear sleep:

Man 1 I can feel time whizzing by. And I'm trying to hold on to something generally. So I usually start grabbing the walls or like clinging to the pillow. And I'm like this isn't going to go away. I need to hold this. I need to hold on to time. I need to stand in this river and just not move.

Man 2 Like it's a kind of very primitive feeling. You have to just, like, flee from this totally horrible thing that's happening to you. But there is nowhere you can flee. And understanding at the same time that what you're fleeing and trying to run away from is the complete cessation of you.

Jane Feltes I cry. And I just get really sad. And I just think. I try to breath. I breath really deeply. And I just think like there's nothing I can do. Like the terror is over-taken by just sadness. I just want it to not be true.

Glass ends the show by reciting a portion of one of his, and my, favorite Philip Larkin poems, "Aubade":

Waking at four to soundless dark, I stare.
In time the curtain-edges will grow light.
Till then I see what's really always there:
Unresting death, a whole day nearer now,
Making all thought impossible but how
And where and when I shall myself die.
Arid interrogation: yet the dread
Of dying, and being dead,
Flashes afresh to hold and horrify.
The mind blanks at the glare. Not in remorse
- The good not done, the love not given, time
Torn off unused - nor wretchedly because
An only life can take so long to climb
Clear of its wrong beginnings, and may never;
But at the total emptiness for ever,
The sure extinction that we travel to
And shall be lost in always. Not to be here,
Not to be anywhere,
And soon; nothing more terrible, nothing more true.

I'd like to add a section from another favorite poem of mine that also deals with sleep, "Briar Rose" by Anne Sexton:

Briar Rose
was an insomniac...
She could not nap
or lie in sleep
without the court chemist
mixing her some knock-out drops
and never in the prince's presence.
If if is to come, she said,
sleep must take me unawares
while I am laughing or dancing
so that I do not know that brutal place
where I lie down with cattle prods,
[....]
I must not sleep
for while I'm asleep I'm ninety
and think I'm dying.
[....]
There was a theft.
That much I am told.
I was abandoned.
That much I know.
I was forced backward.
I was forced forward.
I was passed hand to hand
like a bowl of fruit.
Each night I am nailed into place
and forget who I am.

- image via tuttotheatre.org/Shows/Ophelia -

How to get eaten by a shark while you sleep

2011-12-21T23:35:00.000-05:00

This is as beautiful as it is terrifying. I don't really know what to think. I'd probably walk into the room, take a long, relaxed sigh, admire the pretty fishes, and then have a massive panic attack. I imagine glass cracking and water slowly seeping in, then gushing, a great white shark swims by, locks eyes with me...

- Conrad Hotel in the Maldives, via Apartment Therapy -

Luxury!/Four Yorkshiremen

2011-12-11T01:23:00.000-05:00

My parents once had this sketch memorized. It came up in conversation twice this weekend (and it's only Saturday night, so the count is still on), thus I thought posting it would be appropriate.

Ke$hian Economics, Or: When Keynes met Hayek met Ke$ha

2011-12-08T18:27:00.000-05:00

Considering how many times I've watched EconStories'' "Fear the Boom and Bust" rap, and that I'm an avid lover of Planet Money, you'd think I would have stumbled upon this podcast from January 2010 about the making of the video earlier. Oh, well. Better late than... you know.

My favorite part? Their dialogue after Ke$ha has watched and commented on their video (who I have newfound respect for) and then they've watched the video for "TiK ToK":

"I's very Keynesian in spirit: party on the town with inadequate funds, finding unspecified sources funding. But, the key is to have a good time."

"Although, it's Hayekian in the sense that she feels that she can autonomously decide how to spend time in her life; she doesn't need her parents or some other centralized authority telling her how to spend time."

"That's an excellent point. And, there's an emergent order that kind of comes together without top-down supervision."

"And it was all market-exchange, she..."

[And then they cut off the dialogue! I could've listened to that for hours.]

If I were an economics professor, I'd totally teach a class on the economics of pop music.

Ke$ha - "TiK ToK"

EconStories.tv - "Fear the Boom and Bust"

Poem/"The Opening"/Poetry Quarterly, Fall 2010

2011-12-08T02:11:00.003-05:00

The Opening

we're breathing into each other,

our two bodies: spooning and forking

i think of the math that enters this:

the air, the mattress ⎯

of the geology contained in this moment:

earth’s crust, sound’s waves

i inhale inside our space to astronomize

that the freckles on your spine are planets colliding

do you recognize my language?

yes, but, you misread the text

while the diaphanous morning light

performs card tricks on the ceiling

they tell me a story

while we move to the music

of doors shutting,

televisions in other rooms

as i name each gesture,

identify each

flick of body,

in this poem i’ll write us a language,

compare you to weather

i’m kind of a liar,

i’ve forged your signature

all over my body

I just discovered you can buy this poem of mine in its anthology on Amazon. How exciting! I should start selling my poems online for 99-cents. iPoetry for your handheld iPoem.

Poem/"Glass"/Chaffey Review, 2010

2011-12-05T17:46:00.001-05:00

Glass
You explained to me
how my ovaries work
because I really didn’t know.
Described the egg release.
Drew me a picture
of tubes and pelvis,
my interior
working. You said
you were jealous.
I laughed, crumpled,
tossed your picture.
A year later
tossed you, forgot
how my ovaries work.

Today I saw
a stained-glass window –
greenblue and purple –
shaped like your picture
of ovaries.
Felt terrible.

*Note: I remember an uproar when I workshopped this in Prague (via Naropa) over whether to keep the "Felt terrible" line at the end. Like, my classmates were threatening to never speak to me again if I kept it/deleted it. I kept it, The Chaffey Review published it, case closed.

Poem/"Janus"/Chaffey Review, 2010

2011-12-05T17:42:00.013-05:00

Janus

We drive to Anacortes in our state of silence ––

bigger than our island, bigger than the Sound, bigger than Washington.

We drive over the Deception Pass bridge connecting

Whidbey Island to Fidalgo Island and we watch

the winter’s tidal flow move fast and rough

while the scattering of tiny tree-covered lands beneath us

sleep like turtles in their shells.

It is January 1^st; nothing feels new.

This silence is our ancient secret.

II.

My love, we keep moving the target; the definition keeps changing.

We tried to name the absence of sound and then gave up on naming.

III.

We park in front of the restaurant and

with our kiss we attempt to birth an

electricity of words and sounds, but

the sharp corners and tight pleats of

his uniform build a cold that

hovers above us like snow, and

our January fails to seed, and

our calendar burns when we touch it, and

we eat dinner

while our silence

eats up another

of our years.

Cabbies hate Brooklyn, Or: The most unrealistic scene from "Louie" ever

2011-12-04T01:53:00.001-05:00

My sister forwarded me this short little piece from New York Magazine that I think all of us Brooklynites can relate to:

Despite a recent law upping fines for refusing to take a rider anywhere they want to go within the city limits, cab drivers hailed in Manhattan still won't travel to an outer borough about 27 percent of the time, according to an undercover sting recently carried out by the TLC. Instead of earning money for driving their car across a bridge, each cabbie was fined $500 [for the first offense, the second costs them $1,000, the third costs another $1000 and their license].

How many times have we gotten into a cab, told the driver to take us to Park Slope or Williamsburg or wherever we live to get away from the chaos and price-gauging of Manhattan, only to be told "I don't go to Brooklyn"?

I once had four cabs in a row refuse to take me to Brooklyn (one literally threw my luggage out on the street and locked the doors... manually!). One "agreed" to take me (in exchange for not reporting him) and then cursed at me the entire fifteen-minute drive from the Lower East Side to Prospect Heights. I had somehow ruined his life because I made him drive across a bridge.

It's bullshit and unfair. I know being a cabbie in New York must suck a lot of the time, but their rudeness and outer borough hate is unacceptable. If they refuse you a ride, always, always write down their info and report them. We lovers of Brooklyn deal with hour commutes to work, we bike, we take buses, but when it's 2 A.M. and half the trains aren't running or running on the wrong track, we deserve a safe ride home just like the island-dwellers.

Which brings me to one of my favorite current television programs: "Louie" on FX. I've been catching up on old episodes and couldn't help but think of the "cab wars" scene from (I think) the episode "Travel Day/South" when I read that article. I could only find a very short clip:

I love Louis CK's stand-up and I love the show. I love the cynicism and mixture of hyper realism and hyper never-in-a-million-fucking-years. However, this scene definitely lacked an understanding of New York cabs. In the scene, two drivers fight over who gets to take him to the airport. Getting a cab to take you to the airport can be almost as difficult as getting a cab to take you to Brooklyn. There's a better chance the driver would've smashed Louie's face with the crowbar than the other cabbie's window.

Dan Harmon teaches us the importance of pie charts in writing

2011-12-01T13:38:00.001-05:00

I really need to re-subscribe to Wired. There was an amazing article on "Community" creator Dan Harmon in the October issue in which he discusses his creative process and his realization that he might actually be his own character.

Some snippets:

Harmon calls his circles embryos — they contain all the elements needed for a satisfying story — and he uses them to map out nearly every turn on Community, from throwaway gags to entire seasons.

Abed (Danny Pudi)

Most Community fans assume Abed has Asperger’s syndrome. Many of the signs are there: His inability to pick up on others’ feelings, his tendency to relate more to film and TV than to actual people, his obsessive analyzing and categorizing of events. From the beginning, Harmon didn’t want to specify the character’s pathology, but out of curiosity he eventually started looking into Asperger’s...

Dan Harmon

"So, in a very naive way — and I’ve never told anybody this before — I started researching the disorder,” Harmon says. “I started looking up these symptoms, just to know what they are. And the more I looked them up, the more familiar they started to seem. Then I started taking these Internet tests.” The tests came up positive.

If NBC doesn't have the balls to renew "Community," I think we need to start a campaign for Netflix to pick it up like they're doing with "Arrested Development."

The Barman's Fund, Or: How my generation got screwed, so let's get drunk and be charitable

2011-11-30T15:19:00.004-05:00

I graduated from college in May 2007, moved to New York, and quickly gathered up freelance writing gigs for internet start-ups looking to fill their sites with copy and content.

I wasn't blind to the beginnings of the financial crash – I did most of my writing in my pajamas, sitting on the couch in my tiny East Village apartment, with CNN playing in the background. When two hedge funds run by Bear Stearns suffered massive losses in June, dumped assets, and set in motion the crumblings of Merrill Lynch, JPMorgan Chase, and Goldman Sachs, these Wall Street firms, though located just a twenty-minute walk from my couch, felt like they existed in another universe. I felt badly for the investors who lost their retirement savings, mortgage-holders who were starting to feel the water rising, but I kept typing away.

Then, as 2007 turned into 2008 and bank after bank collapsed, I saw my cushy writing gigs begin to dry up. Websites folded or just stopped paying.

There was an article a few weeks ago in New York Magazine by Noreen Malone, "The Kids Are Actually Sort of Alright," which I felt did a good job of summing up my generation: Mr. Rogers babies hearing on repeat that we're great "just the way we are," kids who grew up watching economic boom after economic boom, who got awards just for showing up (or, not even showing up: in middle school I signed up for a basketball team at the local Y, never went to a game, and was called a few months later to come pick up my trophy), and we were told that if we studied hard in high school we could go to a good college and then get a good job and land on the path toward a career.

Statistics show that young people who enter the job market during an economic crash will forever be behind. We got screwed. But, we refuse to let it get us down.

Malone writes:

A plurality of young people still think they’ll do better than their parents. Our optimism is surprisingly durable. A large-scale Pew study published in 2010 showed that about 90 percent of us either say that we currently have enough money or will eventually meet our long-term financial goals—we’re more hopeful on that front, in fact, than we were before the recession.
Clark University’s Jeffrey Arnett, who studies what he calls the life phase of “emerging adulthood,” points out that people who respond with optimism to questions like that don’t necessarily see “better off” as simply a question of wealth. [....] there’s evidence to suggest other members of our cohort believe they’ll live a more fulfilled life, have better relationships, even if they don’t live in larger houses or drive fancier cars than their parents.

Unemployment among my age group is above the national average (around 9%), and that's only counting those who are on the government's unemployment payroll. We're unemployed but don't qualify for unemployment because we never had the chance to get a job, or we're underemployed, or we're working for pay way below the poverty line.

This isn't some pity-party blog post, I promise. All this is to bring me to a short article I read recently in a free Brooklyn newsletter about the Barman's Fund – a piece of just a few hundred words that made me tear-up. The Barman's Fund is a collection of New York City bartenders who collect their tips and donate them to charity:

The Barman’s Fund is a motley assortment of bartenders in New York City who pledge one shift a month for charitable organizations. Usually at the first of the month, each of us picks a shift and donates every last dollar we make on that shift. We pool the money and look for folks who need it. We contact non-profits and get ‘wish lists’ sometimes, others we find a need and foot the bill. Keeping our causes non-political and our gifts as tangible as possible, we have a damn fine time doing it all. Founded in April by Brian Floyd, we have raised over $8000 as of this month, and have given away over $7000 of it (the rest will be given away before our August shifts!)

Tracy and Adrianne at the Spring Lounge - Nolita

John at Botanica - Nolita

Carie at South - Tribeca

Pablo at Washington Commons - Prospect Heights

Paul at Solas - East Village

Johnny and Floyd at the Vanderbilt - Prospect Heights

Greg at Black Mountain - Gowanus

Like Arnett explains, members of my generation don't necessarily see "better off" as our parents might have: a roomier house, a flashier car, or more frequent vacations. To us, "better off" can mean happier, more satisfied with our lives, and, sometimes, simply kinder. As we saw with Occupy Wall Street's library, free food, and even free massages, my generation might be broke, we might have a bleak future, but we're trying our best to do what we can with the little we have to help others. It's a backlash to the Ayn Rand-centric 80s and 90s. We saw what a country looks like where selfishness reins: it brought the world's economy to its knees.

This is my very long and complicated way of saying: support these bars and bartenders. And, please remember, the previous generation might have screwed us, but we don't have to screw each other.

What are the odds? Or: Being and Nothingness

2011-11-23T19:01:00.001-05:00

by visually via

Interesting. But, at the end of the day, I'm pretty existential. I think that life is inherently purposeless and accidental (and, according to this chart, a pretty freakish accident) and that we (sometimes do, sometimes don't) create our own meaning.

"Consciousness is a being, the nature of which is to be conscious of the nothingness of its being."- Sartre

“I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.”-Steven Wright

Are You Pinteresting?

2011-10-25T02:25:00.000-04:00

via Abigail on Pinterest

Drool-worthy home decor, Or: Someday I'll have a place of my own to drool all over

2011-10-20T22:23:00.000-04:00

Source: apartmenttherapy.com via Abigail on Pinterest

Source: urbanoutfitters.com via Abigail on Pinterest

Source: apartmenttherapy.com via Abigail on Pinterest

Source: apartmenttherapy.com via Abigail

Source: theglitterguide.com via Abigail on Pinterest

Carsten Höller slides into the New Museum with elbow-pads firmly attached

2011-10-12T02:47:00.000-04:00

There's going to be long lines snaking out of the New Museum come October 26 when a giant slide installation is unveiled.

There'll be conversations similar to the one I had with my native-NYC friend as we tried to scope out the Brooklyn Night Bazaar.

Me: What's with all those people crowded over there?
Eric: I think it's a line.
Me: Why?
Eric: I don't know, but we should join it.
Me: Why?
Eric: Because it's a line.

What is it with New Yorkers and their love affair with waiting in long lines! Anyway, back to the über-slide...

The artist behind the contraption is Carsten Höller - who's being called a "German artist" by the blogs even though his website clearly states he was born in Belgium and works in Sweden:

The slide has already made the rounds in Europe and it managed to escape the Euro-zone without being taken apart and sold for scraps to pay for Greece.

The slide will be 3-stories high, 102-feet long, and made of transparent plastic. It's being touted as an "alternative transportation system"- for the museum alone, of course, which is too bad because I'd totally be more open to living in Crown Heights if it meant I could get to Manhattan via long, winding plastic tube.

Check out the slide at the New Museum between October 26 and January 15.

- via architizer & gothamist -

Craigslist or: How I Learned to Start Worrying and Hate My Life

2011-10-03T20:04:00.000-04:00

I hate (despise, loathe, abhor, etc.) looking for an apartment in New York. I search Craigslist, private list serves, and padmapper every day for some room in some corner of this city to call home. Somewhere I can get the insane amount of writing done that graduate school is requiring of me while also, you know, living life. But, of course most listings go something like this:

$775 Roommmate wanted in quiet, and clean share. (Williamsburg / Greenpoint)

I'm intrigued. I click.

Room available in Williamsburg/Greenpoint right at border...
Move in date is around Oct 20, rent will be prorated.Newly renovated railroad style apartment, beautiful place in a SAFE neighborhood.Right next to McCarren Park.

I can deal with a railroad. Go on.

30yo male, considerate, friendly, calm, financially responsible, sane.Seeking the same in a roommate. Some one clean and quiet who is full time employed. Prefer a quiet, non party typeroommate, low key, mature, no drama and fuss please.

I'm totally fine living with a dude. "Low key, mature, no drama." I can be those things. Continue, please.

No hipsters, graphic designers, alcoholics, or drug users.

Excuse me? Is graphic design the new marijuana: a gateway job that will lead to harder, more addictive jobs?

I hate you Craigslist. You apartment-tease.

*Note: In my research for this post, I thesaurus-ed 'hate' and discovered this brilliant entry:

Hatred comes in vials? How convenient.

Poem/"Prolapsed"/"Guts" by Chuck Palahniuk

2011-10-02T10:14:00.001-04:00

Here is one of the first poems I ever had published. I wrote it in college and it was printed in Emerson College's Gauge Magazine. It's based on Chuck Palahniuk's short story "Guts," which is famous for making audience members vomit and run out of auditoriums when he reads it aloud.

Prolapsed:

To fall or slip out of place; the falling down or slipping out of place of an organ or part.

To begin with, I am forty-six chromosomes.
At week six my insides develop
covered by layers –
skin, muscle, soft bones.
Now this
thirteen years grown
an adult, almost, and inside out.
Reverse birth like reverse evolution:
man turning back into ape,
or me turning back into one
enthusiastic sperm.

(At a dirty friends suggestion I sat at the bottom of my swimming pool feeling the sucking of the circulation pump as I came).

Viscera,
like cheap yellow birthdaycake frosting
sucked out, floating up
in one long soft thread.
My insides, once held down,
now rapidly ascending,
detached and independent,
stretching for their first choke of air,
reaching the top where the sun
jumps off the water’s surface
and flickers with each small fold.

Mom says: get out of the pool.
Get out, come to dinner.
Tell me to get out,
to get out and come to dinner.Wrap me in a towel warm from the dryer
my body dripping DNA
at the dining table
where we’ll eat pot roast and I’ll complain
about the broccoli.

I chew through myself.
My braced teeth sink in, spring up
trying to tear into me,
chlorinated water bloats inside my empty layers.
That hard sucking noise
and my heartbeat.

Poem/"The Interim"

2011-10-02T10:05:00.000-04:00

I admit it: I've been Googling myself lately. I feel so ashamed. But! I have a good reason, I swear. I've been hunting the web for my poems that have been published over the years in order to put together a c.v. for the work placement I have to do for my Masters and for PhD applications. I thought I'd re-post them here, starting with this one published in Forth Magazine, based in Los Angeles, in the summer of 2009.

The Interim

A space, a square –
you rearrange my skin with one hand,
complicating the gesture while simplifying my frame.

A space, a square where time has been cancelled,
stripped of its original function.
The interim?

You sit in your desk chair,
it is another factor, something else to add to your formula.
How would I look on your graph?

Your expression, it expresses nothing,
it is devoid of meaning, there are no implications.

Did you ever stop to think how much science there is in your gestures?
How much architecture in your expressions?

I get the sense that you are emerging,
in the process of becoming.
The interim?
You amplify.

I climb onto your lap while you are busy typing and you tell me this

You peel me back;
unfold me with just one arm, just one eye.
Open me.
Why don’t you play with the air between open and closed,
shelter and wideness,
angles and curves?

Instead you create a space, an absence of endings and possibilities.

They have a quote from me explaining the poem, which I don't remember at all, but it sounds like something I'd say - which is really the only thing I can go on with a memory as horrific as mine):

“This is one in a series of experimental poems about sex that explores the space where sex meets science and love meets math. It's about the overwhelming loneliness one can experience when physically close to another human being.”

MyStyle/StyleMint

2011-10-02T08:38:00.000-04:00

StyleMint (Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's t-shirts-only label) now has a blog and they've re-posted a photo of me they had up on their Twitter. I ran into two girls from the company on the 3rd St. Promenade in Santa Monica on one of my last days in Los Angeles and they snapped this shot.

Cairo Street Art/Arab Spring

2011-09-30T16:08:00.000-04:00

I haven't posted in 2 years, 6 months, and 5 days. Why start again now? Two reasons: 1) why not? and, 2) because where else do I save things I find on the internet that I want to be able to look at again in 2 years, 6 months, and 5 days, like this Wordpress posting on how Cairo street art has blossomed after the Arab Spring (yes, pun intended) via suzeeinthecity.

"Where the Wild Things Are" Trailer

2009-03-25T20:14:00.002-04:00

The trailer for the upcoming Spike Jonze adaptation of the children's book "Where The Wild Things Are" has just been released.

Could be amazing in a trippy, fantastical way like "Being John Malkovich" and "Adaptation" were. Or it could be incredibly creepy the way most animatronic movies are ("The Neverending Story" still gives me nightmares).

The film was co-written by Jonze and Dave Eggers, which is pretty beyond awesome. Also, using Arcade Fire in the trailer wasn't a bad touch.

Stefan Brüggemann: Words As Works of Art

2009-03-03T13:42:00.008-05:00

I've always wanted to open an art gallery that mixes paintings, photographs, and sculptures with poetry and quotations written on the walls in large, block letters as if they were pieces of art as well (which I think good writing can be). So, imagine how thrilled I was when I found out about text artist Stefan Brüggemann.

designboom.com

A list of potential exhibition titles

todayandtomorrow.net

Brüggemann is a young conceptual artist who creates, among other things, word art. He was born in Mexico City and is part of a new Mexico based art boom. He turns his criticisms of the art industry machine and contemporary society into thought-provoking and sometimes mind-bending works and that combine sculpture, text, and plays on advertising.

A Nice, Hot Bath

2009-03-03T13:36:00.003-05:00

For some reason I am being drawn to photos of bathtubs today. I think it's because I need to learn how to relax.

apartmenttherapy.com

Yes, that's a bathtub.

NOTCOT.org

apartmenttherapy.com

It's much too bad that every time I take a bath I realize that I don't actually enjoy it. It's either too hot or too cold, the room is too bright or too dark, and the bathtub in my apartment drains itself accidentally. I'm like the goldilocks of bathtubs.

Type Tees

2009-02-22T18:51:00.003-05:00

I don't normally like slogan tees, but these are just too funny to dismiss.

Available for about $15 each at typetees.com

An Anorexic's Nightmare

2009-02-22T18:43:00.006-05:00

This is why you're fat has to be the most ridiculous foodie website of all time.

cheeseburger pizza

It's just a blog where people post photos of the fattening, fabulous foods they're eating.

Is it weird that this makes me hungry? Chocolate covered bacon, anyone?

The descriptions of the food are definitely better than the photos though.

deep fried peanut butter brownie wrapped in cookie dough

corn dog pizza

iPhone Coasters and Solar Panel Samsungs

2009-02-17T23:14:00.006-05:00

I just saw a thumbnail of this on NOTCOT.org and started laughing out loud, alone in my tiny little cottage apartment.

16 iPhone coasters for $60 from Meninos, a design group based in Brazil.

I was about the post this when I saw this other thumbnail on NOTCOT linking to Samsung's new eco-friendly "Blue Earth." It's an iPhone-like touchscreen phone made from recycled plastic. It runs off solar panels on the back of the phone. Incredible.

More at neowin.net

The Right to Bear Arms

2009-02-13T22:04:00.006-05:00

I was flipping through* images from the first two days of New York Fashion Week and stumbled upon this Jenni Kayne fur sleeve jacket that gave me pause.

via Coutorture

Anyone remember this Busted Tees "Second Amendment" shirt?

via Busted Tees

Curious. Very curious.

*Can you use that term for internet surfing? I don't know, but I will.

You can't touch this ice, ice baby

2009-02-13T00:18:00.005-05:00

I never thought I'd say this but... anyone want to take a road trip to Utah? Utah has always been at the bottom of my list of favorite US states and I couldn't wait to get out of it when I was driving through on my way from Los Angeles to Boulder, Colorado. But this little nugget of concert news has made me suddenly change my mind:

Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer will be performing together at the McKay Events Center in Orem, Utah on February 27th. The event, Hammer Pants and Ice (no, I didn't make that up), is happening one night only. Tickets range from a ridiculously low $30 to $35.

Seriously. Utah? Anyone? I'll drive.

Oh, and... anyone else think Hammer Pants on Ice would make the best Ice Capades show ever.

Via Yahoo News. Thanks to the Rachel Maddow Show .

Guns are a girl's best friend

2009-02-13T00:00:00.005-05:00

America's obsession with guns usually makes me very, very sad and/or angry, but sometimes it just makes me laugh and shake my head. Today it's the latter.

General Coin & Gun Exchange in Eau Claire, Wisconsin is giving away a gun with every purchase of diamond earrings worth $400+. Owner Brian Zinn told the AP that since "guys like guns and girls like diamonds," he thought he'd "mesh the two together this year."

How romantic. As a little girl, I always dreamt of the day I'd meet a kind, handsome, charming man who would get a free gun and shoot me with some diamonds.

I'm sure Michael Moore is going crazy right now.

Via wisn.com. Thanks to the Rachel Maddow Show.

jack kerouac quote art print

2009-02-06T19:53:00.000-05:00

This Jack Kerouac On The Road quote poster seems to be on every college kid's dorm room wall (it was also on mine), so I was skeptical when Apartment Therapy mentioned a print with the same quote by Jamie Meares. But I gave it a look anyway and, to my delight, discovered that it is truly beautiful and not at all cliche.

To buy it click on her name (above). It costs only $25.

a lazy, rainy thursday

2009-02-05T23:49:00.002-05:00

Just too cute not to post. From Apartment Therapy.

Demetri Martin show premiering... finally

2009-02-05T02:33:00.002-05:00

I wrote about Demetri Martin getting his own Comedy Central show on October 4, 2007 (read the proof). I finally saw a trailer for it tonight while watching "The Colbert Report." That's almost 16 months later, to the day.

He reminds me of how much I loved living in New York and going to Rififi and the PIT to see friends perform stand-up.

Watch the extended trailer:

The show premieres on February 11th.

The White House Via Atlanta

2009-02-04T22:11:00.003-05:00

I think this is the very definition of Fresh Off The Boat:

an Iranian immigrant named Fred Milani lives in this White House replica in Atlanta––

I think it's ridiculous, although that pool is quite pretty.

Self-Loathing in the Commerce Department

2009-02-03T21:19:00.006-05:00

Just saw this reported on by Rachel Maddow and thought it was much too good to pass up:

President Obama's pick to head the Commerce Department, Republican Senator Judd Gregg, once tried to destroy the Commerce Department:

President Obama’s new candidate to run the Commerce Department voted in favor of abolishing the agency as a member of the Budget Committee and on the Senate floor in 1995.

Sen. Judd Gregg , R-N.H., whose nomination was expected to be announced Tuesday, also worked in the Senate to trim the department’s budget as head of the Commerce-Justice-Science Appropriations Subcommittee.

Read more at CQ Politics

Blog love

2009-01-31T02:52:00.001-05:00

via thinggeek.com

Baddest bad ass electric car: Aptera

2009-01-27T21:56:00.005-05:00

If you've ever wondered what James Bond would drive if he went green, I think Aptera's new electric car is it. The car features an aerodynamic body and a lithium-based battery that can go for about 100 miles on a charge. It accelerates from 0 to 60 in 10 seconds and can go up to 90 miles per hour. The price isn't set yet, but the car will probably go for anywhere from $25,000 to $45,000 (I'm voting for $25,000).

The hamburger bed

2009-01-19T01:28:00.001-05:00

Just too funny.

via Apartment Therapy

CocoRosie profile in the NY Times

2009-01-18T01:50:00.007-05:00

I just dug up this CocoRosie profile in the New York Times by Fernanda Eberstadt from July 2008. Eberstadt lets the Casady sisters speak for themselves in the article and while following them to two gigs and spending time with them in their Paris apartment, she offers you a full portrait of just how richly weird Bianca and Sierra Casady really are.

The article delves into their lives in Paris, their musical theories (they don't listen to it), fashion tastes (see the quote below), food choices (hard boiled eggs and tea), and familial relationships (fucked up).

Here's a little taste of the article:

Bianca: "put on the things you like least, things you hate the most. Things that give you pain. It’s the same thing we do with the language we use in our songs: making ourselves use words we hate.”

Bianca: “Sierra’s anti-humanity, into nature, lightning, physical endurance. I’m into hustling, selling, cheating people, creative vandalism.”

Sierra: “If there’s a poetic to our work, a weird continuity of deliberate mistranslation, it’s what comes off the streets and is purified and reduced by the dollar stores...
I’ve been reborn by the idea of artificial paradise, an urban hustle. We are finding our way to God through the dollar stores of this world.”

Gorgeous.

Listen to their latest single "God Has A Voice, She Sings Through Me":

God Has A Voice, She Sings Through Me - CocoRosie

"Shit Be Math" - astronomy art print

2008-12-30T00:10:00.003-05:00

(I know I haven't posted in ages! I guess I'm taking a little winter vacation.)

I just saw this poster on NOTCOT.org and thought it was awesome. It's the "Seven Rules of Astronomy" print by Jody Avirgan and Noah Rauch. It's 13 by 20 and costs only $30. I think it would make a great gift for anyone interested in astronomy/science or anyone who collects original art prints (like me!).

Kosher beer

2008-12-16T00:33:00.004-05:00

I just read about this in Elle of all places. It's a kosher brewing company called Shmaltz Brew Co.

Their tagline is "The Chosen Beer." I think that's just hysterical.

Atheist holiday cards

2008-12-03T16:41:00.003-05:00

Stephen Colbert talked about these Order of St. Nick atheist "Christmas" cards on Monday night's "Colbert Report."

I think they're awesome.

They're $18.99 for a pack of 10.

Fox News warning: Obama will turn us into pot-smoking transexual vagabonds!

2008-11-28T04:26:00.007-05:00

I made it exactly three minutes and ten seconds into this video before I had to pause it because I was laughing so hard.

This is from an O'Reilly Factor investigation of San Francisco, where the Obama-loving "far left" have taken over "almost every single neighborhood" with a "dark underbelly that seeps into the regular society."

"In San Francisco they [the homeless] travel in packs. You have your vagabonds, you have your street kids, your runaways, your 60s hippie retreads, and they're pretty aggressive."

Priceless.

Thanks, Mia, for telling me about this video.

Untitled random post

2008-11-27T04:02:00.002-05:00

http://www.becausestudio.co.uk/glit.html

More Rahm Emanuel Entertainment

2008-11-27T03:24:00.006-05:00

My obsession with Barack Obama's future chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel, continues.

This post is very meta. Below, you can watch a video of Saturday Night Live's Andy Samberg doing an impression of Emanuel's propensity to expletive laden tirades, a 2006 video of the actual Emanuel talking to John Stewart about finding a new FDR (Obama premonition?), and a clip from the "West Wing" with Bradley Whitford playing Josh Lyman, a character inspired by Emanuel.

Got that?

Here goes...

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Rahm Emanuel

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

Another quick vid worth checking out that doesn't have anything to do with Rahm Emanuel, here's new SNL cast member Michaela Watkins doing an incredible Arianna Huffington impression.

BarackObama@BarackObama.gov, the first iPresident

2008-11-16T06:13:00.006-05:00

There's an article in the New York Times today about Barack Obama's use of a Blackberry and laptop. According to the article, he's hoping to become the first president with a laptop on his Oval Office desk. Up until now, presidents haven't used email or cell phones, due to both security and the Presidential Records Act.

"Sorry, Mr. President. Please surrender your BlackBerry.

Those are seven words President-elect Barack Obama is dreading but expecting to hear, friends and advisers say, when he takes office in 65 days.

For years, like legions of other professionals, Mr. Obama has been all but addicted to his BlackBerry. The device has rarely been far from his side — on most days, it was fastened to his belt — to provide a singular conduit to the outside world as the bubble around him grew tighter and tighter throughout his campaign.

'How about that?' Mr. Obama replied to a friend’s congratulatory e-mail message on the night of his victory.

But before he arrives at the White House, he will probably be forced to sign off. "

Read the article here.

He's also broadcasting his weekly radio address on YouTube.

Welcome to the future.

I wonder if they'll put a presidential seal sticker on his Macbook?

50 surprising facts about Barack Obama

2008-11-14T02:07:00.003-05:00

Stephen Colbert just mentioned this list of surprising Barack Obama facts on tonight's episode of "The Colbert Report." It was published on Tuesday on the UK's Daily Telegraph website.

(I put in bold the ones I found the most interesting)

• He collects Spider-Man and Conan the Barbarian comics
• He was known as "O'Bomber" at high school for his skill at basketball
• His name means "one who is blessed" in Swahili
• His favourite meal is wife Michelle's shrimp linguini
• He won a Grammy in 2006 for the audio version of his memoir, Dreams From My Father
• He is left-handed – the sixth post-war president to be left-handed
• He has read every Harry Potter book
• He owns a set of red boxing gloves autographed by Muhammad Ali
• He worked in a Baskin-Robbins ice cream shop as a teenager and now can't stand ice cream
• His favourite snacks are chocolate-peanut protein bars
• He ate dog meat, snake meat, and roasted grasshopper while living in Indonesia
• He can speak Spanish
• While on the campaign trail he refused to watch CNN and had sports channels on instead
• His favourite drink is black forest berry iced tea
• He promised Michelle he would quit smoking before running for president – he didn't
• He kept a pet ape called Tata while in Indonesia
• He can bench press an impressive 200lbs
• He was known as Barry until university when he asked to be addressed by his full name
• His favourite book is Moby-Dick by Herman Melville
He visited Wokingham, Berks, in 1996 for the stag party of his half-sister's fiancé, but left when a stripper arrived
• His desk in his Senate office once belonged to Robert Kennedy
• He and Michelle made $4.2 million (£2.7 million) last year, with much coming from sales of his books
• His favourite films are Casablanca and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
• He carries a tiny Madonna and child statue and a bracelet belonging to a soldier in Iraq for good luck
• He applied to appear in a black pin-up calendar while at Harvard but was rejected by the all-female committee
• His favourite music includes Miles Davis, Bob Dylan, Bach and The Fugees
• He took Michelle to see the Spike Lee film Do The Right Thing on their first date
• He enjoys playing Scrabble and poker
• He doesn't drink coffee and rarely drinks alcohol
• He would have liked to have been an architect if he were not a politician
• As a teenager he took drugs including marijuana and cocaine
• His daughters' ambitions are to go to Yale before becoming an actress (Malia, 10) and to sing and dance (Sasha, 7)
• He hates the youth trend for trousers which sag beneath the backside
• He repaid his student loan only four years ago after signing his book deal
• His house in Chicago has four fire places
• Daughter Malia's godmother is Jesse Jackson's daughter Santita
• He says his worst habit is constantly checking his BlackBerry
• He uses an Apple Mac laptop
• He drives a Ford Escape Hybrid, having ditched his gas-guzzling Chrysler 300
• He wears $1,500 (£952) Hart Schaffner Marx suits
• He owns four identical pairs of black size 11 shoes
• He has his hair cut once a week by his Chicago barber, Zariff, who charges $21 (£13)
• His favourite fictional television programmes are Mash and The Wire
• He was given the code name "Renegade" by his Secret Service handlers
• He was nicknamed "Bar" by his late grandmother
• He plans to install a basketball court in the White House grounds
• His favourite artist is Pablo Picasso
• His speciality as a cook is chilli
• He has said many of his friends in Indonesia were "street urchins"
• He keeps on his desk a carving of a wooden hand holding an egg, a Kenyan symbol of the fragility of life
• His late father was a senior economist for the Kenyan government

Video: Obama roasts Rahm Emanuel

2008-11-13T20:36:00.002-05:00

Devil incarnate Bill O'Reilly dug up this video of Barack Obama roasting new Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel at a 2005 dinner. I think O'Reilly thinks it makes Rahm look bad, but I think it makes him look awesome. Look at how he laughs at Obama's jokes!

Rahm Emanuel offered Chief of Staff position in Obama White House

2008-11-05T13:37:00.004-05:00

My favorite House member, Representative Rahm Emanuel of the 5th district of Illinois (parts of Chicago and Cook County), is reported to have been asked by President-elect Barack Obama to serve as his Chief of Staff.

Here's a little Emanuel trivia, from the important to the... well... trivial:

-He is the fourth-ranking member of the House.

-His father is former Israeli military and his brother Ari Emanuel is an entertainment lawyer and the basis for the character Ari Gold on "Entourage."

-Emanuel is the inspiration for the character Josh Lyman on "The West Wing."

-He studied ballet and was offered a Joffrey Ballet scholarship but gave it up to earn degrees at Sarah Lawrence and Northwestern.

-Emanuel served under Bill Clinton from 1993 to to 1998, first as Assistant to the President for Political Affairs and then as Senior Advisor to the President for Policy and Strategy.

-He currently serves on the House Ways and Means committee and is considered one of the most influential members of Congress.

-He has a reputation of being ferocious and someone you don't want to get in the way of. Politico.com suggests that this will allow Obama and Emanuel to do a good cop/bad cop thing.

-Paul Begala on Emanuel: "He's got this big old pair of brass balls, and you can just hear 'em clanking when he walks down the halls of Congress."

No word yet on whether he'll accept.

Read more about Emanuel's reputation in a 2005 "Rolling Stone" article.

Woot shirt: Row vs. Wade

2008-10-31T16:08:00.004-04:00

I saw this shirt on Woot last night and didn't give it a second thought. Then I looked at it again today and glanced at the title and started laughing so hard.

It's the "Row vs. Wade" tee.

The shirt is now sold out, but if you like it then you should check out shirt.woot.com regularly. They release a new shirt every day, charging just $10 plus $5 shipping. There's also a wine version and an electronics version.

Blog surfing: 30 days of burritos

2008-10-24T23:10:00.004-04:00

I was talking to someone recently about the time trap that is searching blogs on the interweb. One blog leads to another blog leads to another blog. For me, recently it's been fashion blogs where girls who are into vintage clothing seem to take pictures of themselves dressed in said vintage clothing, which make me want to go out and buy vintage clothing (which I, of course, do). Then there are design and technology blogs, which always lead to the most bizarre places, like a blog written by a guy who made a pledge to eat a new kind of burrito every day for 30 days.

30 Days of Difference's burrito month included a pad thai burrito, a spaghetti burrito, a fettucini alfredo burrito, and a vast array of classic burritos.

Also, be sure to check out the awesome blog-roundup blog that started it all, NOTCOT.org.

Garry Marshall's Obama Ad

2008-10-21T20:51:00.002-04:00

My dad just sent me the link to this Barack Obama ad directed by Garry Marshall.

Check it out:

McCain and Obama make jokes at the Alfred E. Smith Dinner

2008-10-17T14:23:00.004-04:00

Taking a break from the (disgusting) negative campaigning and just a day after what was possibly the most debate-like of all the debates over the course of this entire election season, John McCain and Barack Obama got to put on white bow ties and poke fun at themselves and each other during the Alfred E. Smith Dinner. The dinner happens annually to support Catholic charities, but during presidential elections it's customary for the two nominees to speak, and the speeches are generally supposed to be funny. And damn, were they funny this year.

Obama poked fun at his own celebrity and McCain's running mate, while McCain made jokes about ACORN and the medias supposed bias toward Obama. McCain's better at delivery (his deadpan speaking style is almost scary), but Obama's got the better speechwriters.

These are both DEFINITELY worth watching:

"Who's Nailin' Paylin?" Script

2008-10-09T23:55:00.011-04:00

Oh... my... god. TMZ got its hands on the script for the Hustler porn, "Who's Nailin' Paylin," and it's AMAZING. It's surprisingly funny and even a bit smart. The quality of porn writing sure has gone up in recent years...

You can read the first fifteen pages of the script at tmz.com, but jut to give you a taste, these are the goshdarn best lines, you betcha:

SERRA PAYLIN

It's time to drill baby! Drill hard and drill deep. Come on ya tree hugging hippie. What'ya wait'n for, congressional approval?

She practices giving a speech:

SERRA PAYLIN

Joe six pack, Joe Lincoln, your average hockey mom, that's what America is all about. Coming together and saying gosh darnit slavery might be fine for some, but ya know what, it just doesn't cut it where I come from. (Pause) Which is Alaska.(Pause) Where we don't have slavery.

They even have a newscaster on "Faux News" called Bill Orally who throws a fit on camera:

BILL ORALLY

And for all you pinko Paylin haters out there maybe it's time you put your mouth where my d-k is. F-k! [BILL rips off his ear piece and throws it across the room. He storms off camera]

The script includes a threesome with Sarah Pailin, Condoleeza Rice, and Hillary Clinton. Oh, yeah, and she screws some Russians and a professor who teaches creationism.

I will leave you with the best screenshot I've ever taken:

Sarah Palin, "World class doodler"

2008-10-07T06:14:00.002-04:00

It's 3:15am, I've been working on graduate school applications for the past five hours and I desperately need to go to bed, but I just had to post this.

This is MSNBC's Rachel Maddow (my new girl crush) on a reporter finding a page of Sarah Palin's doodles. They're bordering on "Sarah (hearts) John McCain."

Actually, I think they might be worse.

Watch the short clip:

"Nailin' Paylin"

2008-10-05T06:18:00.006-04:00

I've never before been anticipating the release of a porn film, but this I've got to see...

Sarah Palin is officially a legend! Hustler Video is shooting a porn with a look-alike titled "Nailin' Paylin." The spelling is sic and so is Hustler. You betcha!

The faux Sarah is Lisa Ann, who "will be nailing the Russians who come knocking on her back-door." In another scene -- a flashback -- "young Paylin's creationist college professor will explain a 'big bang' theory even she can't deny!"

There's also a threeway with Hillary and Condoleezza look-alikes.

The video is in pre-production, but is being fast tracked for release before the election. (via tmz.com)

Also, in other sex news, thank you to Gio for telling me about this Godtube.com video (and for telling me about Godtube, a YouTube for crazy Christian people).

Coming Soon: "New York, I Love You"

2008-10-04T03:36:00.002-04:00

I just found the trailer for "New York, I Love You" on YouTube. It's kind of the sequel to "Paris, je t'aime," which was a series of short films about Paris by directors like Alfonso Cuarón, Gus Van Sant, and the Coens. I knew they were going to do a New York one but I didn't know they'd finished filming. According to the trailer it's in post production now. Even though "Paris" was really hit and miss I'm excited for the New York version, especially the segment directed by Yvan Attal (Charlotte Gainsbourg's husband who is a fabulous director and writer, see "Ma femme est une actrice"/"My Wife Is an Actress").

Watch the trailer:

Video: "The Great Schlep"

2008-09-26T12:46:00.003-04:00

This is an awesome video of Sarah Silverman telling Jewish grandchildren to go to Florida to visit their grandparents and convince them to vote for Obama. I had two people recommend I watch this yesterday and I was very, very glad I did (I usually ignore suggestions for viral videos since people who watch copious amounts of YouTube clips annoy the hell out of me).

The Great Schlep from The Great Schlep on Vimeo.

Status update: Aaron Sorkin writing Facebook movie

2008-09-20T19:34:00.003-04:00

So what do you do after creating one of the greatest television shows of all time and writing a Golden Globe and Oscar nominated film about the Soviet invasion of Afganistan? Why, right a movie about Facebook of course! Really couldn't be more obvious...

"West Wing" genius and "Charlie Wilson's War" scribe Aaron Sorkin is all set to write a film based on the development of the social networking site (and my biggest addiction after diet root beer), Facebook.

No word yet on who'll star or direct, but we do know it's being made by Sony Pictures and it'll probably be about Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg starting the site from his Harvard dorm room.

Gawker: "Scientists Explain Why People Vote For Republicans"

2008-09-19T18:03:00.002-04:00

My sister just emailed me a link to this hysterical post on Gawker today about why people vote for Republicans. It's all about the "science" behind political inclinations. Best line: "Liberals were not sensitive to the scary images. Which means they're biologically inferior, because they'd die if a gay spider tried to abort their faces to death."

Read it here.

Amazing ottoman that folds out into a bed

2008-09-19T01:58:00.005-04:00

This might just be the coolest piece of practical furniture, ever. It's an ottoman from BoConcept that folds out into a twin bed. It's sleek, modern, and totally convenient.

The white one is $499 (different fabrics cost different amounts), which I don't think is too bad for such an amazing piece of furniture.

Read more about it at apartmenttherapy.com.

Donate to Planned Parenthood in Sarah Palin's Name

2008-09-17T13:46:00.006-04:00

There's been an email making the rounds (I got it twice in one day) suggesting that people who dislike Sarah Palin's policies towards choice (according to Palin, only her daughter Bristol should have one) should make a donation to Planned Parenthood in her name.

Just in case you don't already know, Palin is vehemently anti-choice, including in cases of rape and incest, and she let a law stand while mayor of Wasilla, Alaska that charged rape victims for hospital rape kits.

This is the email I got. I'm not sure who wrote it.

Dear Friends:

We may have thought we wanted a woman on a national political ticket, but the joke has really been on us, hasn't it? Are you as sick in your stomach as I am at the thought of Sarah Palin as Vice President of the United States?

Since Palin gave her speech accepting the Republican nomination for the Vice Presidency, Barack Obama's campaign has raised over $10 million dollars. Some of you may already be supporting the Obama campaign financially; others of you may still be a little honked off over the primaries. None of you, however, can be happy with Palin's selection, especially on her positions on women's issues. So, if you feel you can't support the Obama campaign financially, may I suggest the following fiendishly brilliant alternative?

Make a donation to Planned Parenthood. In Sarah Palin's name And here's the good part: when you make a donation to PP in her name, they'll send her a card telling her that the donation has been made in her honor. Here's the link to the Planned Parenthood website (make sure to click on the link to donate in someone's honor so she get's your card):

www.plannedparenthood.org.

You'll need to fill in the address to let PP know where to send the "in Sarah Palin's honor" card. I suggest you use the address for the Alaska Governor's Mansion, which is:

Governor Sarah Palin
716 Calhoun Avenue
Juneau, Alaska 99801

The second email I got suggested sending the donation card to McCain headquarters:

McCain for President
1235 S. Clark Street
1st Floor
Arlington , VA 22202

Go to the Planned Parenthood Honorary Giving website and make a donation for $5, $10, whatever you can spare. Let's keep this crazy lady out of the White House.

Sarah Palin talks to Charlie Gibson and fails the exam

2008-09-13T17:12:00.001-04:00

VP-hopeful Sarah Palin did an ill-advised interview with Charlie Gibson on ABC.

She looks like she crammed all night for an oral exam and now she can't remember any of the answers, but she's hoping she can bullshit her way through it.

Watch it and weep. This woman could be our president.

Gangsta Rap Made Me Do It

2008-09-11T20:43:00.001-04:00

Oh my god this shirt is just too funny.

McCain's polling numbers jump post Sarah Palin

2008-09-08T14:14:00.006-04:00

I was reading The Note this morning while eating breakfast (Wheatabix!) and it mentioned a USA Today article about jumps in the polls post RNC and DNC. It made me want to vomit:

"McCain leads Democrat Barack Obama by 50%-46% among registered voters, the Republican's biggest advantage since January and a turnaround from the USA TODAY poll taken just before the convention opened in St. Paul. Then, he lagged by 7 percentage points...'

'Before the convention, Republicans by 47%-39% were less enthusiastic than usual about voting. Now, they are more enthusiastic by 60%-24%, a sweeping change that narrows a key Democratic advantage. Democrats report being more enthusiastic by 67%-19%."

The article's author, Susan Page, interviewed Larry Sabato, a political scientist from the University of Virginia, who says that post-convention polls rarely predict the outcome of an election (only about half the time). '"You could flip a coin and be about as predictive,' he says. 'It is really surprising how quickly convention memories fade.'"

Let's hope he's right.

Republicans can't tell the difference between a middle school and a military hospital

2008-09-05T11:53:00.005-04:00

If you watched John McCain's RNC speech last night and you aren't a hardcore evangelical conservative gun-toting choice-hating Republican drooling over his every word, you probably noticed the images on the massive screen behind McCain's head as he spoke.

I had lukewarm feelings about this giant TV when I first saw it in use. It made the Republicans look modern and technologically innovative (probably making up for the fact that McCain admitted to being a computer "illiterate"). But there was also room for major malfunction, and malfunction it did.

Last night, during McCain's speech, there was a very strange image of a mansion looking building. One of McCain's six houses, perhaps?

Nope.

Talkingpointsmemo.com reported this morning that the image was of Walter Reed Middle School in North Hollywood, California. A Talking Points reader suggested that maybe the Republicans had meant to put up an image of Walter Reed Army Medical Center and some tech guy had goofed.

Congratulations anonymous tech guy on joining the long list of other Republican computer idiots. In addition to McCain, you're joining the ranks of such luminaries as George W. "The Google" Bush and Ted "Series Of Tubes" Stevens.

Also, did anyone else find the image of a serene looking African landscape a bit... um... insensitive (ignorant, moronic, all choice words) when Bill Frist was talking about his visit to Southern Sudan?

If you didn't watch the Frist speech, you should. He sounds just like William Shatner.

Jon Stewart and Newt Ginrich talk abortion

2008-09-04T17:12:00.004-04:00

I didn't think it was possible to love Jon Stewart more than I already do, but I was proved wrong during last night's "Daily Show." Stewart sat down with Newt Gingrich to talk about Sarah Palin and Stewart brought up the subject of Palin's pregnant daughter, Bristol. Here's what Stewart said:

"One serious issue that I do want to address that's sort of close to my heart, the issue of the teen pregnancy. They have said that this is Bristol's decision and we should honor that. I have a daughter. The reason that it's fair game is Sarah Palin is on record as saying she would veto abortions for women even in the event of being raped. So what she is in essence saying is, respect my family's ability to make this decision and elect me so that I can keep your family from having the same opportunity."

"Every time Obama speaks, an angel has an orgasm"

2008-09-01T22:49:00.003-04:00

You must watch this "Daily Show" clip making fun of the Obama DNC speech intro video.

The Hillary campaign's "epic collapse" and Obama's weak debate performance

2008-08-27T04:41:00.004-04:00

There were two interesting articles in this month's The Atlantic. The first was about the collapse of the Hillary Clinton campaign and how badly managed it was, the second was about Barack Obama's weak performance in the primary debates versus his strong performance in the senate debates of four years ago.

Read them both and tell me what you think.

College Candy: Why "I Don't Think Of You In That Way" Is So Damn Complicated

2008-08-07T17:44:00.004-04:00

From my latest column for CollegeCandy.com:

"I have had, on multiple occasions, the uncomfortable conversation that always ends with the words 'I don’t think of you in that way.' I have sat down with many a guy friend to clarify that we’re just friends. I have explained to guys numerous times that I like to keep my friendships and my relationships separate, and that I don’t date my friends. I always mean it when I say it. I always want to stick to it. But the line between friendships and relationships always seems to blur in my confused little world. Why is 'I don’t think of you in that way' so hard for me to say?

There have been several occasions this year where I have had to have this conversation. What troubles me the most is that I can’t seem to avoid it. I’m a huge flirt, especially when I’ve had too many whiskey sours, so I can understand why some guys might get the wrong idea and think I’m interested in more than just a shoulder to rest my head on when the room starts to get spinny. But even with guys I don’t get super flirty with, I still have to have the conversation. It’s always approached one of two ways..."

Oliver Stone "W" trailer

2008-08-07T00:05:00.004-04:00

It's official, Oliver Stone is off his rocker.

Watch this trailer for "W," the Bush biopic.

College Candy: How to find an apartment where you’ll enjoy living and won’t get stabbed

2008-07-22T17:52:00.003-04:00

From my newest article for collegecandy.com:

"I seem to move more frequently than most. Even in high school I packed up and spent my summer months on abroad programs, and in college I somehow managed to live in three different cities while only attending one school. In total, I’ve lived in fourteen different places (houses, apartments, and dorms) and I’ve hunted for an apartment three times. I’ve managed to find nice places to live and I’ve never been robbed, stabbed, or beaten in my sleep by an angry roommate, so I think I’ve done well. I’ve decided to pass my wisdom onto all of you who are new to apartment hunting. Here are the usual things you need to look out for when finding a place, and a few unusual things as well."

Glow festival in Santa Monica

2008-07-21T22:50:00.006-04:00

Here are some very blurry pictures from Glow. Read my review of the event at Moleskine's Los Angeles website here.

Gold retainer necklace

2008-07-17T21:51:00.004-04:00

This has to be by far the coolest necklace I've ever seen. It's a retainer made of sterling silver coated in 14Kt gold. Too bad it costs three-hundred bucks. I wonder if I could dip my old retainer in a bucket of gold paint? Would that work?

College Candy: Moving past Hillary and onto other potentials VPs

2008-07-15T02:12:00.003-04:00

A new post for collegecandy.com:

"Everyone is so busy talking about a Hillary Clinton VP spot they seem to be forgetting that there are a lot of other great contenders out there who could be Barack Obama’s number two. Considering how nasty the nomination fight got, it’s not hard to imagine a situation in which Obama would pick one of these qualified party members above his ex-nemesis. Check out these top three VP candidates..."

College Candy: Love Like Cookie Dough

2008-07-12T14:30:00.010-04:00

I somehow managed to tie in my obsession with Buffy into an article about relationships for CollegeCandy.com:

“I always feared there was something wrong with me. You know, because I couldn’t make it [relationships] work. But maybe I’m not supposed to,” Buffy (Sarah Michelle Gellar) explains her decision to stay single in the brilliant last episode of Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. 'I’m cookie dough,' she says. 'I’m not done baking. I’m not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I’m going to turn out to be.'

'After seven seasons of relationships with on-again off-again boyfriends Angel and Spike, show creator Joss Whedon let his heroine ride off into the sunset (or really, run off into the sunset), alone. I remember watching the episode and finding the idea shocking and refreshing. It wasn’t a happily ever after ending, but it also wasn’t a tragic ending; it was completely realistic. The show ends with Buffy at age 22/23, and what girl at that age has relationships all figured out?"

What doesn't kill you just makes you fatter

2008-07-11T13:43:00.003-04:00

This is seriously going to be the death of me. A new snack joint in Santa Monica called Xooro is opening that serves nothing but churros (a sugary fried stick to those of you not from Southern California or some other place that borders Mexico). They've got dulce de leche churros, strawberry and cream churros, and supposedly they'll have savory ones too. It's located at 125 Broadway, between 2nd and 3rd Streets.

I'm afraid to tell my friends.

Read more about Xooro at DailyCandy.com.

College Candy: Geek Love

2008-06-26T17:20:00.005-04:00

Here's my newest College Candy column!

*Note: A few lines were added in by the editors - the Gossip Girl line, the "Rar" line, and the very last sentence.

"Post-college geeks aren’t the same as in-college geeks. These aren’t hipster boys who wear horn-rimmed glasses or cardigans with elbow patches. These boys aren’t geek chic. Post-college geeks are a special breed of boy. They are the freaks from Freaks & Geeks, and not in an ironic way. They played Dungeons & Dragons in high school (and maybe still secretly do) and can name all the aliens that appear in the Mos Eisley Cantina in 'Star Wars.'

And they’re surprisingly date-able."

I wish I'd thought of this first!

2008-06-25T21:15:00.002-04:00

This is the coolest idea ever! Destination Dinners will ship to you a kit which includes a recipe for a site-specific dish, like jambalaya from New Orleans or spiced lamb from Lebanon, along with spices and non-perishable items in the correct amounts, a shopping list for the fresh items you'll need, and instructions on how to set your table. The kits are only $25 (a great deal considering the kits serve four to six) and would make a fantastic gift.

Barack Obama channels President Bartlet

2008-06-24T14:07:00.003-04:00

For many liberals like myself, the television show The West Wing was political porn. Week after week we could watch a government run by intelligent, idealistic folk who actually managed to get things done, and President Bartlet (Martin Sheen) was preternaturally smart and (gasp!) a good person. One of the most popular West Wing scenes shows Bartlet quoting passages from the Bible in order to prove to a right wing radio host why she's wrong in her views about gay people.

Many liberals see Barack Obama as someone who is idealistic, intelligent, and so politically genius that we think he might just be able to get things done in a do-nothing Washington. The parallels between Obama and Bartlet ended there, until a speech he gave to a group of liberal Christians in 2006 was dug up.

On The West Wing the conservative radio host sites Leviticus 18:22 as why gay marriage is an "abomination." Bartlet's response:

"I want to ask you a couple of questions while I have you here: I'm interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She's a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, always cleaned the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? ...Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother, John, for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads?"

From Obama's speech:

"Which passages of scripture should guide our public policy? Should we go with Leviticus, which suggests slavery is OK and that eating shellfish is an abomination? Or we could go with Deuteronomy, which suggests stoning your child if he strays from the faith? Or should we just stick to the Sermon on the Mount?"

College Candy: The commons versus the common experience

2008-06-21T06:20:00.004-04:00

From a post I wrote as part of my column "Finding Love in the Post-College World" for collegecandy.com

"My first night back in Los Angeles, after a year of living in New York, I ended up at a bar on Sunset called Coach & Horses. It was dark, dank, a jukebox kind of place. I started talking to a guy, a friend of a friend, about our jobs, favorite movies, favorite television shows. He worked in the writer’s room of a popular TV show, we were both addicted to 'Top Chef,' and we agreed that the first four seasons of the 'West Wing' were brilliant and far surpassed seasons five thru seven."

College Candy: Adventures in Veganism, parts 2-6

2008-06-21T06:09:00.003-04:00

Here are links to the posts I wrote for collegecandy.com about my week eating entirely vegan:

Day 2
Day 3
Day 4
Day 6

For some reason part five wasn't published and they haven't published part seven yet.

A Poutporri of randomness

2008-06-16T20:10:00.004-04:00

I was searching eBay for something to wear to the Americana party I want to throw later this summer, and I found this:

It was listed as a wedding dress. Amazing! If anyone wants to buy it for me (it's around $200), I'll totally wear it to the party.

College Candy post: Sex and the Unemployed

2008-06-12T17:30:00.004-04:00

From my collegecandy.com column "Finding Love in the Post-College World":

"It sounds like a dream: lazing in bed until eleven, having sex in the middle of the day, scoping out your city’s best happy hours in the early evening with your man. This is the life of those unemployed and in a relationship. But there’s a dark side, a very dark side, and it’s called the Wii."

College Candy post: Adventures in veganism, day 1

2008-06-12T17:27:00.005-04:00

From a 7-part article I wrote for collegecandy.com:

"My favorite places to eat at in Los Angeles include In N’ Out for their double-double animal-style burgers and Bay Cities Italian Deli in Santa Monica for their “godmother” sandwich, a bread and meat monstrosity with cold cuts from every edible animal. I rarely eat at home because I can’t cook, and when I do, my go-to at-home meal is a ham and cheese sandwich. I’m telling you this to give you an idea of how hard it is going to be for me to eat like a vegan for week."

Moleskine City, Los Angeles: The 6/6/08 weekend top 3

2008-06-06T21:47:00.009-04:00

A new post from my new writing gig!

"These are the three things I’m dragging my friends to this weekend in Los Angeles. See you there!

Anyone who says Los Angeles lacks culture obviously hasn’t been to Olvera Street. It’s known as “the birthplace of the City of Angels” and features the vibrant Mexican Marketplace. On Saturday June 7th from 10 AM to 7 PM the neighborhood hosts the Fiesta de las Flores. The area will be decorated to recreate scenes from old Los Angeles. There will be plenty of spots to take mantelpiece (or at least Facebook) worthy sepia-toned photos with friends."

read more at loseangeles.moleskinecity.com

The RFK Snoozefest

2008-06-06T21:38:00.004-04:00

If I read one more article comparing Barack Obama to Robert Kennedy or 1968 to 2008 I'm going to lose it. What has happened to political journalism? After the excitement and anxiety surrounding the Hillary Clinton v. Obama primary showdown, it's like their brains have clocked too many miles and just can't go on.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITIC

Democratic Party changes policy on campaign contributions

2008-06-05T20:49:00.003-04:00

I just got this email today from the DNC:

"Dear Abigail,

I wanted to drop you a quick note about a major policy change here at the Democratic Party.

As we move toward the general election, the Democratic Party has to be the Party of ordinary Americans, not Washington lobbyists and special interests. So, as of this morning, if you're a federal lobbyist, or if you control political action committee donations, we won't be accepting your contribution.

This is an unprecedented move for a political party to make -- one that has sent shockwaves through Washington and has turned the debate on clean campaigns upside down. We've unilaterally agreed to shut lobbyists out of the process, and are we're relying on people just like you.

Just imagine what hundreds of thousands of Americans donating $20, $30, or $50 at a time can accomplish together."

With lobbyist-money shunning Barack Obama now the presumptive Democratic nominee, this was a pretty obvious move to make, otherwise there would be a conflict of interests–– would the DNC accept lobbyist donations on his behalf? Or would Obama go back on his promise to not accept their money? (Shower me in lobbyist money, now that I've won!). What remains to be seen is if this policy lasts beyond this election. Midterms, I'm keeping my eye on you.

College Candy: Sex and the West Hollywood:

2008-06-04T16:59:00.005-04:00

My newest post for collegecandy.com:

Last Sunday night I found myself at Barney’s Beanery in West Hollywood. It was Memorial Day weekend, so the bar was packed. I’d come with friends, so I wasn’t looking to talk to any guys, but looking around I was surprised at how many cute, normal looking ones there were.

There were tons of adorable nerdy boys wearing glasses and semi-skinny jeans who looked like they’d just come to chill and have a good time with their friends. Yeah, there were a few desperate-looking ones in buttoned-down collared shirts and pressed slacks, but I just ignored them. I couldn’t understand why my friend S (identity protection) always complained to me about not being able to find datable girls in Los Angeles, there seemed to be plenty of cute guys. So I decided to put myself in his shoes, and I looked around for girls. It was an eye opener.

College Candy: The Lloyd Dobler Factor and The Age Problem

2008-06-02T18:49:00.007-04:00

I'm periodically writing for a new website called CollegeCandy.com, including a column titled "Finding Love in the Post-College World."

Here are two of my latest:

The Lloyd Dobler Factor

The Age Problem

Future best movie ever, "Burn After Reading"

2008-06-02T02:00:00.004-04:00

The trailer for the upcoming Joel and Ethan Coen film, Burn After Reading, is finally out. I'm really excited that the Coen bros. are returning to their comic roots (Fargo, The Big Lebowski) even after they won multiple Oscars for their drama No Country for Old Men.

Burn stars Joel's wife, Frances McDormand, John Malkovich, Tilda Swinton, George Clooney, and Brad Pitt.

Check out the trailer:

Choke trailer released

2008-05-28T16:21:00.007-04:00

The trailer for Choke is finally out! Directed by actor and first time director Clark Gregg (Iron Man) and based on the Chuck Palahniuk novel of the same name, the film stars Sam Rockwell (Confessions of a Dangerous Mind), one of my favorite under-appreciated actors, and Anjelia Huston (The Royal Tenenbaums). Like all Palahniuk novels, the plot is pretty hard to explain, but it's basically about sex addiction, colonial recreation theme parks, and Jesus Christ (that makes sense, right?).

The film screened at Sundance and has gotten mixed reviews and a rottentomatoes.com score of 88% (Fight Club got 81%), but the two reviews by well-respected critics that I read weren't positive.

Hollywood Reporter critic James Greenberg says the film is "like an extreme postmodern fairy tale, and occasionally when it catches the right tone it has the lightness and touch to make it fun. Rockwell's apparent flair for tongue-in-cheek comedy helps, and he makes a nice couple with the deadpan [Kelly] Macdonald. But for much of the way, the film just feels like it's pressing too hard to make an impression."

Daily Variety critic Dennis Harvey describes Choke as "a much more modest effort [than "Fight Club], " and says that the film, "doesn't suffer so much from downscaled production values as from direction and packaging that just don't match Palahniuk's imaginative brio in cinematic terms."

Just from the trailer alone I think the film is going to be a disappointment. The David Fincher directed Fight Club was highly stylized, dark, and manic, which matched the way a Palahniuk book reads. This film seems like it's going to be more straightforward, maybe even a little dull.

Watch the trailer and judge for yourself:

Joss Whedon's "Dollhouse"

2008-05-23T01:05:00.007-04:00

I had to keep reminding myself that I trust Joss Whedon to make great television shows out of unpromising-sounding premises while watching the trailer for his new show, "Dollhouse."

"Buffy, the Vampire Slayer" is about a high school girl who slays vampires when she isn't dating them, and "Firefly" is about cowboys in space in the future, so I think he might just be able to make "Dollhouse" work. The show is centered around a girl programmed to become different characters, from an assassin to a lover, without being conscious of the changes. Then she suddenly becomes aware, drama and conflict ensue, etc etc.

It sounds more like a movie ("Minority Report," maybe?) than a TV show, and the show's star, Eliza Dushku, is one of my least favorite actresses. You can watch her trying to act, and she can't, so it's just painful.

So, in order to get myself pumped up about this show, I'm repeating my new mantra: "I trust Joss Whedon, I trust Joss Whedon, I trust..." Well, you get the idea.

Here's the trailer and a clip:

Zaazz.tv video blog: I love the 80s, the 90s, and 3D

2008-05-17T23:24:00.001-04:00

more at Zaazz.tv

Zaazz.tv video blog: The happening, the wanted, the nine, the spiderman

2008-05-17T23:21:00.001-04:00

more at zaazz.tv

What will they think of next?... nothing, I hope

2008-05-12T21:30:00.004-04:00

I can't believe this thing is real. The Nubrella is a bubble umbrella that kind of makes one look like a hamster in a ball.

I can't decide if this, or the New Orleans Segway Tour, wins the award for the biggest douche-bag use of new technology?

Seeing the Nubrella reminded me of a quote from one of my favorite cancelled television shows, "Veronica Mars":

Keith (Veronica's dad): I'm thinking about getting you some sort of giant hamster ball, so you can roll everywhere in this protective sphere.

Veronica: It'd just draw attention to me. Nobody likes a blonde in a hamster ball.

...I couldn't agree more.

Kurt Andersen in New York Mag on Obama v. Clinton

2008-05-05T21:10:00.007-04:00

I just read an opinion piece by Kurt Andersen in New York Magazine about the media's bias towards Barack Obama and their dislike of the Clintons. In the article, titled "About That Crush on Obama," I think he sums up well the Clinton problem:

"Over the course of Bill Clinton's (bungled, distasteful) presidency and Hillary Clinton's (bungled, distasteful) campaign for the presidency, the couple have separately and together become incarnations of the most unattractive attributes of their generation's elite - blind ambition cloaked in do-good self-righteousness, a sense of entitlement, high-handed snobbiness ('I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies'), hedonism (Monica et al.), narcissism. As a poster couple for people of a certain age and demographic, they have become a bit of an embarrassment."

Zaazz.tv video blog: "Superheroes, Scientologists, and Stoners"

2008-05-04T17:01:00.001-04:00

more at zaazz.tv

Zaazz.tv video blog: "The Green Hornet, Gandalf, and Tax Evasion"

2008-05-04T16:55:00.002-04:00

more at zaazz.tv

LSD discoverer dead at 102

2008-04-30T01:39:00.007-04:00

Albert Hoffman, the Swiss chemist who discovered the hallucinogenic effects of lysergic acid diethylamide-25 in 1938, has died at 102, ending a decades long argument over whether LSD can kill you. As it turns out, it can make you live to 102.

Hoffman hoped that LSD would be used to treat patients with schizophrenia and other mental disorders, but instead it became a popular recreational drug in the 1960s and was made illegal in 1966.

Hoffman's death comes less than two weeks after "Bicycle Day," April 19, an annual celebration by acid lovers, falling on the day of Hoffman's first trip, when he peaked on the drug while riding his bike.

Read more about his life and death on CNN.com.

Nobody likes the smartest kid in the class

2008-04-29T02:07:00.006-04:00

The latest issues of Time and Newsweek are almost entirely devoted to the argument over whether Barack Obama is an elitist. I can't think of a more stupid or less relevant argument to have when trying to decide who should be president (except for maybe flag pins), but on the (slightly) bright side, this inane discussion has stirred up some interesting comments from those in the news media who have taken a step back and realized how absolutely blind their colleagues can be.

From Jon Meacham's "Editor's Desk" in Newsweek:

"Only in America, it seems, could the first major African-American presidential candidate be seen by some as more elitist than Clinton, who has spent the last 30 years in a governor's mansion, the White House or the U.S. Senate."

Anyone with any kind of reflective sense must see that Hillary Clinton and John McCain calling Obama an elitist is the same as having John Kerry's decorated war record attacked by George W. Bush, who never saw combat, and Dick Cheney, who got five deferments.

But of course the guy who got it the most right, John Stewart:

"Doesn't elite mean good? Is that not something we're looking for in a president anymore?" Stewart asks. "I know elite is a bad word in politics, and you want to go bowling and throw back a few beers, but the job you're applying for? If you get it and it goes well, they might carve your head into a mountain. If you don't actually think you're better than us, what the fuck are you doing?"